Dating a person with herpes

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(As a Silicon Valley firm, we have been in the online dating business for over 16 years!Q: I've been seeing this girl and we've really been hitting it off. But my gut reaction is to ghost and never look back—I don't want herpes! – Jason, San Antonio A: Finding out your partner has herpes can be a bombshell at any point in the relationship. But it is not nearly as unique or earth-shattering as you think it is. I know there a lot of thoughts and anxieties swirling in your head—about your partner’s health, about your health, about your partner’s fidelity, about your future (or lack thereof) with your partner—and we’ll get to all that. My head tells me to handle this like a mature gentleman.If you’ve been physically intimate, freaking out was probably your first reaction (Do I now have herpes? Then come the other questions: Is herpes a deal breaker? But first, let’s get straight on what herpes is and what it isn’t.Are you stupid to continue a relationship with someone who has herpes? There are two viruses that people talk about when they talk about herpes: Herpes Simplex Virus 1 and Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or HSV-1 and HSV-2.HSV-1 is the one that usually causes cold sores around your mouth and lips.

Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 can cause infections anywhere on your body, and both HSV-1 and HSV-2 are more common than you think. The prevalent statistics you encounter in drug commercials, sex ed, and PSAs are inconsistent and often confusing.That’s because herpes infections are much more complicated than we paint them in our SNL sketches and stand-up routines. It’s from Project Accept.org: Around 75% of Americans carry HSV 1 or HSV 2 somewhere on their body.That virus can (but may not) be transmitted to any surface of someone else’s body, via physical contact.But you don’t have to bring that shit directly into your relationship. Do you search back in your memory for which doorknob you touched that might have been infected or which person sneezed in your vicinity? So, blame and origin is irrelevant, because those things are seen as unfortunate but part of being human – our bodies are resilient but not infallible, and the potential for infection and risk is present in almost everything we do.This is between you and your girlfriend, fiance, wife, boyfriend, husband, life partner or whatever. The only reason we care about who gave it to us and when is because we shame people for how they got it – by having sex or engaging in sexual activities.

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    Taking this line of conversation will cause your date to "run for the hills," according to therapist and relationship expert Kimberly Seltzer in a September 2012 article in the "Huffington Post." If your ex continues to occupy this much space in your mind, you are likely not yet ready for a new relationship.